On this journey sometimes the pace of progress doesn’t seem to fit in with the rate that was expected or wished. We can possibly set a schedule which life doesn’t seem to want to meet. What happens?
As we approach a new episode in our life, we may wish to plan ahead, to ensure that we will be comfortable. We devise ways that, if followed, will make progress possible…for us. But what of others? How can we plan ahead for a major event, such as a new course or starting a new job? Well we’ll want to do well so we may prepare for future events. Your new tutors, employers, colleagues will also have plans which are ‘needed’ to ensure they have success.
We have a choice to make?
Do we fight the circumstances, those situations when the events don’t pan out as we would wish? We are now against the rest. We are battling everyone. Now our reaction is to fight and hence we can get angry. This is a nasty spiral which is difficult to escape. It starts as a tiny seed. We may start to articulate that anger internally: blaming others (for not following our plans) to ourselves. This could be deemed to be ‘beating ourselves up’. It can be a vicious cycle where this anger turns in on itself (metaphorically speaking) and starts to reduce our effectiveness.
It’s like a seed that grows and grows and grows.
We can speak out to those we feel are to blame, or write pithy emails or letters to individuals or organisations, when we might not exactly know all the facts…but that may not stop us. We may well regret this later.
What can we do?
Well, accepting the situation as one that we are unable to totally control may help. If we can acknowledge that the plan we set out may not be followed exactly and we can remain flexible in accepting the situation, the anxiety may reduce markedly.
We may be able to see that our relationships with others, especially those closest to us, can be affected as our anger materialises into rudeness as we withdraw into ourselves.
James Chapter 1 verse 20 …
because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
If we can identify those feelings that indicate anger emerging in our lives, we need to: recognise that this is wrong; reflect more widely on the situation as a whole; dynamically adapt those plans we had so they can knit together with the plans of others; and apologise to those we have hurt or upset.