It’s that time of the year, well for the UK, just after Valentine’s Day when we look to buy lots of cards, chocolates and flowers to celebrate our Mum. Yes, I’m aware that it was originally Mothering Sunday and is not connected whatsoever with Mother’s Day from the USA.

What if you don’t have a Mum (this year) with whom you can celebrate?

One whom we can give roses, either in chocolate or flora form, and have a hug?


For some people it is a heavy burden from which to overcome each and every year, one that they would prefer others from seeing. Hence they keep quiet, not play a part in the annual purchase of cards and presents, and may not receive any either. The loss is still very present.

Can we look out for others, to offer a shoulder to lean upon, to listen to their story?

My Mum died in 2003, some years now, but the memories are still very evident. Each and every year, the church I attend have posies of Daffodils to give away to Mums, and in this inclusive world, Dads. I wonder if people have a choice to take them when presented? Do I therefore not attend because I am to be expected to take the flowers?

Can I suggest that we speak with someone about how we are feeling? A friend once said that:

“as we speak, articulate, our feelings, it may be the very first time that we ourselves have heard those inmost personal feelings.”

What of those children who regettably been deserted by parents, perhaps as they bravely came out as transgender, lesbian, gay or bisexual and their parents couldn’t understand? Diverse Church offer significant support to those LGBTQ Christians especially.  There is a group Diverse Church Parents who can support such parents if they have a Christian faith; there are many groups across the country who will support those who have no faith. There is ‘Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays’ (FFLAG) who also offer support to parents.

Crying is also not a sign of weakness but one of being individual and a sign of a functioning body – we were given those tear ducts for a reason! I hope I can give that opportunity for others to cry of needed, not allow societal norms to control our behaviour.

Why not join, or even form, a group which can intentionally talk  about the loss of dear relatives and loved ones? It could be an intentional safe(r) space for your and others to speak naturally, openly, honestly. It could all start over a coffee. Why not speak to Healthy Minds if you are in Calderdale?


Safe(r) Space logo

Give yourself time-outs. The sports people do, celebrity’s do, so can we all. If you feel the need to pause, reflect positively on those feelings you are experiencing, then take that time-out. Please do not suppress those feelings; otherwise, it may continue to hurt.

Jesus often took time out to pray, to chat with God about life. He also returned to certain towns to get away from the pressures of Jerusalem and Judea. We are allowed that opportunity to take time-outs – do we give ourselves that opportunity or permission?

Avoid having to keep looking at the items on sale which demand us to celebrate, when we have that final choice.

What could we do to help ourselves? and others?

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